Friday, May 20, 2011


I am thinking about leaving. I am thinking about it constantly. It seems so simple of a thing to do now. The thing is, Grey almost did me a favor. He's burned so many bridges of mine, that I have little choice now but to either sink here or swim far away. I don't have school to worry about. I don't have any attachments anymore. And seriously, what friends? I have nothing keeping me here.

But every time I picture myself stepping out that door I see what can happen if I'm not here to protect my brothers and sister. What pushed Peter into making his decision? And do I need to make the same decision, or do I... what the hell do I do.

No one's here to tell me what to do. I'm the only one to make any sort of decision. I wish someone could help me. Anyone. I wish my dad would swoop in and save us. I wish the state would send in all the social workers and whisk us away to foster care. I wish my mother would change.

But none of that is going to happen so I have to make a decision.

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