Sunday, May 1, 2011

Fight (or) Flight

I've been hanging around with Peter a lot for the past two days. Mostly in an effort to get away from my mother. She's flaring up again and I've needed to get away.

He's explained a lot of things to me, especially about the government organization he used to be a part of. He calls them the Lonely Hearts, and has explained that they are quite dangerous. They have entrenched themselves in every single facet of the government. There is nothing that goes untouched by them. As he talks about their actions, the more... afraid I have become of them. Especially when he's told me about some of their most recent actions.

It makes me feel like I'm a small fish in a huge ocean.

He's warned me that he'll have to leave eventually. That when he leaves, I probably won't ever be able to contact him again. Or, or... I could go with him.

He said it'd be dangerous. But he would protect me, and he would show me the ropes of what it means to fight the Fears. He says it would give me a purpose, something to fight for.

He says that I can use my experience to help others.

I don't know what to think yet. It's all overbearing. What the fuck could I offer anyway? I'm nothing special. I would have disappeared if Peter didn't

But on the other hand, I do want to help. But ... but above that, I want to run away. Is that bad? That I want to run away? That I want to say goodbye to my mother and this life and fight against creatures that will most likely rip me apart eventually?

Peter says there's something coming. Something is going to give, and the Fears are going to rise. He doesn't explain how he knows these things. But I can feel something changing too. In Portsmouth. In the world. In the actual Fear Mythos. No one's posted anything in a month. No one replies to my PM's. I think they're dealing with the Fears too.

If it's true that I've altered reality through the creation of the Fear Mythos, then I need to help. I have to fight. I must do my part... right? 

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