This time I didn't wake up. This time, I was walking along the River. It seemed like snow was on the verge from falling out of the dead sky, and wind gusts bustled over and in from the opposing shoreline of the River.
I didn't become aware of being in dreamland until I looked down into the water and saw no reflection of my self. My eyes widened, I looked up suddenly, and then my eyes stopped their gaze towards the opposing shore. Grey was standing there... and then, next to me, again.
"What's up, doc?"
"....Why am I here again?"
He looks over the river.
"Dude... you are here... to admire the scenery!"
He looks back at me, clearly satisfied of fucking with me.
"Seriously? Well, alright-"
I turn 360 degrees quickly, and then face him again.
"Alright I took the grand tour now let me go please."
He laughs for like a whole minute.
"Nahhh, bro. Chill out. Come on, walk and talk with me!"
And so I did.... and I have no idea why I did. I mean, hell, I was walking with some stranger who just happened to look like me in an everlasting winter wasteland. I had no reason to even be in that dream in the first place. And yet, it felt... comforting to have someone else there with me.
We said nothing at first. It bothered me. He seemed content to just walk along the border of the water and land with a smirk plastered on his face. However, I felt the uncomfortable silence set in; that pause in conversation I was all too familiar with. I tried to find something to say, anything, but I just could not fucking do it, like always. I was sinking like a stone in the silence.
And then he struck the silence away.
"Calm yourself, child. I can feel you shake from just this distance."
I was startled by the sudden serious tone in his voice. However, ...my body automatically calmed itself. My breathing steadied, and my heart pumped at a manageable pace. I felt comfortable again, at his command.
It perplexed me, but I kept walking regardless.
"You're too nervous, dude. Always shaking, always wondering about others' expectations. You just need to chill the fuck out."
I didn't know what to say to him.
The shoreline never curved, never faltered, never collapsed. It kept on and on forever, in one continuous line. Grey whistled as he seemingly inspected the water, while I kept my gaze on his back.
He turns around.
"Not much of a conversationalist, eh?"
"I.. I guess not."
"This entire time, dude, I was waiting for you to speak up. You didn't even take the chance! Why are you scared?"
I looked away from him, into the River,.
"I don't know..."
He grabs my shoulder yet again. The feeling pushes through the fabric of my shirt, through my skin, and spills into my bones.
"...You're wounded. That's why."
His other hand grasps my other shoulder.
"I can see it, Owen. This is your heart-"
His hand slides down my chest and over my heart.
"-and it's broken into tiny, tiny, tiny pieces. And those pieces are breaking. And soon there will be no-"
And that's when I woke up.