Wednesday, April 6, 2011


I'm so scared. I've been blacking out more. I keep losing time and place. One moment I'm in my bed and the next I'm in the backyard staring up into the sky. I don't feel like I'm in control anymore. I don't have hands on the wheel anymore. I feel like I'm in free fall now. It's all collapsing. All falling apart. My mind is decaying. My mother keeps saying things. My brothers are eternally fighting. My little sister is crying. And I can't stop any of this. It just keeps happening. I don't have any control over what's happening to me. I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm dying. I feel myself letting go.

I'm dying.

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