Thursday, April 28, 2011

Gone

Grey's gone. He's actually gone. I know that's hard to believe. But he's not inside of me anymore. I'm certain. I'm very certain of this. I have to be.

I don't really know what to do with my life now. I feel like it's all over with. There isn't much to do anymore that I have nothing to concentrate on. Originally, my life goals were to "Survive my mother." Then, it became "Survive depression." In the end, those two were shafted and it became "Survive supernatural being maybe." Now that that's out of the way, I'm left with my mother, unanswered questions, and an emptiness that I can hardly fathom.

I know Peter warned me of this. I am aware. And I still went through with it. But I didn't realize how fucking worthless existence feels at this moment. All I feel is annoyance. Annoyed that my mother keeps screaming. Annoyed that this headache won't subside. Annoyed that I haven't felt happy in the longest damn time. Annoyedannoyedannoyed.

And I can feel the symptoms of what Sowing Season did growing inside of me. 

What the fuck do I do now.

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